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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29988132">young enough to know</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustypaint/pseuds/dustypaint'>dustypaint</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Tommy thinks a lot in this one, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), amnesia? sorta idk, and then smacked myself the next morning, finally decided to post it, half of this was beta read, i tried to write dnf fluff and this came out, i wrote half of this when i was half asleep, i wrote this in early january, it's implied but i forgot to write the storyline so it's not there, tommy can sorta see ghosts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:13:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29988132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustypaint/pseuds/dustypaint</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy spends some time thinking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>(it inadvertently leads to his death.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>young enough to know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dull blue eyes reflected the red-orange stained horizon, the hues not unlike the explosions that plagued the boy’s past. His heart ached. He wished that he could’ve changed something, that he could fix everything that he had messed up. He wished he could’ve done something- anything- to just <em>fix</em> everything. He wished that he could have somehow softened the blows of war, of pain, death, and the hurt that scarred everyone’s hearts. He wished that he couldn’t see people’s suffering.</p>
<p>His mind wandered, reminiscing simpler times.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tommy remembered the Wilbur from Before. Before the wars, before the camarvan. Before <em>L’manburg</em> was anything more than an idea, a hope for a greater future, far beyond reach. He remembered how, when Philza would leave for weeks, sometimes months at a time, leaving him and Will behind- <em>never Techno, the first, the</em> favorite <em>son</em>- Wilbur would take care of him, more of a father to him than his <em>actual</em> father ever was. He remembered the kind Wilbur, the one who played him songs on his guitar when he couldn’t sleep, the one who looked at him with love in his eyes and with his heart on his sleeve. </p>
<p>(No one remembered his Wilbur- no one except the grieving younger brother who must be delusional- he must be, because how could an insane tyrant ever be anything other than the villain?</p>
<p><em>Listen</em>, he had screamed, and the only reply he received was a distorted echo of his plea.)</p>
<p>Tommy thought back to the Wilbur with raging fire in his eyes and paranoia following his every movement. So very different from <em>his</em> Wilbur.</p>
<p>Tommy remembered just how easy it had been for Wilbur to bring Techno to the ravine. Wilbur, who had lost his mind at that point, who was drowning in the despair and heartbreak resulting from his dream being taken away from him. (<em>Would he have come for me, if I had asked?</em> Tommy briefly allowed himself to wonder, with a flicker of hope attempting to grow in his chest.) </p>
<p>Tommy remembered Wilbur after the explosion. He had seen him with Phil. He had seen the desperation in Wilbur’s eyes. The hesitance in Phil’s stance. (<em>kill me, Phil</em>) The ringing in his ears, and the clawing hole in his heart the moment he saw his brother die. His brother. The brother that died first when his dream did, and second from the sword through his chest. </p>
<p>His body didn’t disappear, when the life in his eyes faded, a smile remaining. Not like before. Not like when he had had more than one life left; more than one respawn. Not like when life was better, and freer, and war had only ever been on the horizon; it had barely been on the radar. Now he was gone. Forever. (Some part of Tommy would never forgive himself.) </p>
<p>
  <strike>He remembered his scream as Philza plunged his sword into his brother’s heart, remembered the way Wilbur smiled, falling into their father’s arms. Like he was finally free, finally at peace. An unfinished symphony, forever unfinished, his dreams dying with his final breath.</strike>
</p>
<p>His body had stayed, and Philza had wept, like he actually <em>cared- how can you kill your own son and still have the nerve to pretend that you cared?</em> </p>
<p>(Murderer, the ghosts whisper, when his eyes linger over Phil during the aftermath.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was no surprise to Tommy when he was exiled. He’d known that griefing George’s house had been a risk, and he would never regret taking all of the blame (Ranboo didn’t need to be exiled with him). He was surprised, however, that Tubbo had made up his mind with little input from Dream.</p>
<p>(“When I was sworn in I made a promise; to do what’s best for the nation. And right now Tommy, your presence is not what’s best.” Tubbo had said it with such resolve, such finality. Tommy had had no doubt that he was being serious.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So now Tommy was in exile. He honestly hadn’t minded, at first. It was only after the first week that the loneliness started to set in. A few stragglers here and there would come visit him, none more so often than Dream (the man who escorted him there in the first place). Tommy had hoped that Tubbo would come visit. He found that he hoped far too often, far too much.</p>
<p>Tommy barely remembered when Dream started taking his stuff. He barely remembered most of the later parts of exile. He does remember, however, Dream being there. He remembers Dream being the only one who cared visited. </p>
<p>Life got considerably worse when Tommy began waking up underwater, with no memory of how he got there. His tent blew up when he entered it; almost like the universe was attempting to take his last life. He wasn’t willing to give it. </p>
<p>His life mainly consisted of chopped wood, aching muscles, and the noxious clouds of smoke that came from his hard-earned items. (He’d found hiding things away surprisingly easy.)</p>
<p>Sapnap came over once. (Tommy couldn’t bring himself to care much, when the other started teasing him.)</p>
<p>(I’ve been in exile before, Tommy thought. I can do it again.</p>
<p>He had forgotten that Wilbur had lost his sanity in exile. He didn’t remember just how dangerous it was to be alone with your thoughts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tommy eventually forgot why he wasn’t allowed back. )</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Two months into his exile, Dream blew up Logsteadshire. Tommy couldn’t find it within himself to care much. He was only worried for sentimental values sake, he supposed, not that there was much of that going around in the first place.</p>
<p>He gathered wood for the last time, with heavy thoughts weighing down his mind. His actions became sluggish and slow, his vision grey around the edges.</p>
<p>Tommy found himself standing on top of a pillar without knowing how he had gotten there. He looked down, the sea calling him. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to be free.</p>
<p>So he jumped.</p>
<p>And so he was.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i wrote this 3 months ago lol</p>
<p>i posted now bc the exile angst tag isn't as active so there's less chance of this being discovered</p>
<p>hope you enjoyed, leave a kudos or comment if you feel like it</p>
<p>also sorry for the weird tenses i was feeling weird when i wrote the second half</p></blockquote></div></div>
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